Now that I’ve gone over my favorite armors, I’ll move on to the next logical step: listing my least favorite armors. This list will include specialty and alternate armors also, and will be the third and final installment for this series. Though there were a lot of Iron Man armors out there, splitting them into three separate entries made the pool pretty shallow. So let’s go tow hat I think are the armors that never should have been for the Golden Avenger.
5) Tin Man / Prometheum 2 Armor Mark III- Jorge Lucas Variant
This rendition of the armor was just plain bad. Looking like hundreds of wielded or connected plates like knight armor instead of magnetized mesh, this monstrosity looked like it was designed with medieval technology more so than modern. The terminator faceplate tried to give off a menacing look, and it was scary, but unfortunately it was scary bad. Oh yeah, and the waist was as wide as the chest, so he looked like a middle-aged football fan with a huge beer gut. Bleh. The only good version of this I saw was Pat Lee’s, which can be found in the bottom right of this blog.
4) S.K.I.N. Armor
I’m not sure I need to explain this one really. Nothing good including the concept, and the most disliked Iron Man artist in recent memory didn’t help things either. Kudos to Mike Ryan when he took over the book for drawing it well enough to make it look “just plain bad” instead of “absolutely horrid”. It was one of the shortest lived armors for a reason.
3) Ultimate Iron Man Armor
I understand that the Ultimates are supposed to look different, but good god. This ugly, low tech, blocky, goggle eyed suit is just embarrassing to look at. It’s more robot than armor and is the least advanced looking suit since the original Grey. They really need to change it, especially the eyes.
2) Every incarnation of the Teen Tony Armor
It followed the theme of the Retro Classic armor: god awful. It changed every issue even after it was completed, and not one ever looked good. Plain, boring and even the guy inside sucked so that was salt in the wound. Though at least we got to see its power in the final issues before Heroes Reborn, and it was somewhat impressive, easily manhandling a sentinel. But it wasn’t enough to make up for the lame design.
1) Retro classic Armor
I’m not sure what was worse for me about this design: that it was just so awful looking or that it followed my favorite armor the Modular. Really, there is nothing good that can be said about this thing, and I still remember all the letters at the end of the issues about people saying how bad it was. While I was never a fan of the classic armor (aesthetically) those that were felt this was a butchering of that design. Bad, bad, bad, bad, bad. Let me count the ways: the gauntlets, the boots, the rivets, the one piece torso/hip design… well, you get the picture.